Soooo sorry for not updating til now T^T
I've been sooo lazy opening my blogger.... -__-....
Well anyways, I'll complete my update from Dec.16 up to present
Just a summary, so bare with it *-*
December 16, 2009 - Wednesday
Nothing much happened,
I just sleep becoz of exhaustion and tiredness
hmm... or... uwah! I can't remember what I did this day -_-...
Gome
December 17, 2009 - Thursday
Hmmm... Today the only important thing happened was my Knight calling me on my cellphone
It was our first conversation on the phone, how can I forget? 8D
He asked me if I can come to their church on saturday
I said I should ask my parents first for their approval
and he said that he'll be the one to tell,
He'll be visiting me tomorrow to tell my parents about that
Yesh I was soooo nervous
It will be the first time a suitor would visit (suitor?)
hmm... But then that night I told my parents if they will allow to go
My dad agreed, but my mom didn't
By the way, Knight's religion is Iglesia ni Cristo (INC)
and we are Born again
Two very, err I mean sorta, different religions -_-...
My mom doesn't want me to change religions so she didn't allow me -_-...
and coz INC's don't celebrate Christmas, and they have too many don'ts on their religion
Hmm... I was thinking if I should go or not
And I know that I should be making the decision by myself
So, I texted my Knight, like, they didn't allow me something like that
But it wasn't direct
And then I go to sleep -_- zzzZZZ
December 18, 2009 - Friday
Today is the day my Knight will be visiting me home
My dad left early coz he'll get his pension at... I think AFPSLAI
I took a bath early, like 6 or 7
My Knight was here at 8:30 am, coz I asked him to come early ^^;
Hmm... We first talked outside, coz mom is in the CR
I told him that my mom doesn't agree, but he said he'll still try to ask their permission
I also said that dad is not home, and he got more nervous coz he is more comfortable talking to dad ^^
hmm... after that, we went in and took a seat, right beside each other
Like we're going to say something really important (I was thinking too many things like it's about marriage or such haahah!)
OMG I was really nervous that time O_o
And I don't know how to entertain visitors!
I wasn't talking at all!
Anyways, Mom said to him directly what she wanted to say
About the religions and such
I felt pity for my Knight... Coz he got rejected (?) by my parents... about the saturday event.... --;
I wasn't really looking at them, I looked at the TV and at the other side away from them
And then they were talking about the two of us, our relationship, etc.
Woah! Mom is really something! She thought of things too much O_O
After the very long and heart-throbing conversation, Mom left us to have time talking with each other
I wasn't really talking, coz we're in our house and sis and lil bro might hear hahah!
We were just watching TV
But then my Knight was the one talking to me
He said things like jokes and such
hmm... But I think he's sad coz of the result
Anyway, he saw my pic when I ws grade 1
And he said that I was cute! X3
He saw a rubic's cube and tried to solve it
He even teached me the tricks and how to solve it
My feeling of nervousness was gone, And we were talking to each other in a normal way
We also watched Hunter X Hunter and Bleach
After that he bid goodbye... hmm... coz it's pass 10
I walked him outside coz I still want to talk with him about what happened
And he said if it's ok with me, I can accompany him til TFBC (which is very far from home)
I said it's ok coz I was going to say something though (and I want to be with him for a little longer)
We talked about things... and about the suitor thing
He said that he'll wait until we graduated
And until I can decide for my own
Aww... the sweetest thing I heard this day :)
hmm... I asked him about his lovelife
And he openly told me about it
hmm... should I, write it? or maybe on another journal about him next time ^^
And then Mom saw us sitting at the bakery
My Knight apologize coz of that...
And I got scolded coz we were there
Mom said she gave us time to talk at home
I said that I can't really talk there coz I feel like it
and then.... there... phew! It's all finish
His first visit on his own is really sweet
And I'm glad he had the courage to do that :)
December 19, 2009 - Saturday
Coz I wasn't able to go to my Knight's church, I think I was at home all day
Gah! Can't remember anything happened this day orz -_-...
December 20, 2009 - Sunday
hmm... can't remember this one again -_-...
Is it, the Christmas party on our subdivision???
ee... can't really remember (needs memory supliment)
I just can't remember anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But one thing is sure, we didn't go to church coz of some reason -_-.....
'kay so I guess til here for now
My laziness kills me again -_-...
Gonna update tomorrow, promise!!!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
continuation of Socialization '09
So this is the continuation of my entry yesterday... eheheh
hmm... so where were we?
hmm... Did I already told you about cart city?
and we walked like, from there to near metrotown?
yeah, I was in my bad mood... -_-...
Becoz I was sooo sleepy and tired otl
hmm... and then they (my classmates) decided to bring us to Stephen's boarding house
and so, Bart, Baldo, Marianne, Glecy, Knight and I went there
I felt Bart was so worried about us
Even though he wants to be with those guys, he didn't go
He's like a big bro to me I guess :)
hmm... after that, uwah... I feel so much comfortable and I lay down of exhaustment
ahahah... and I saw a big pink bear again... I hugged it and uwaahh... I felt so tired
But they opened the TV and I asked them to turn the channel on cartoon network
We watched Naruto... ahahah XD
hmm... after that, my Knight told us that he had to go...
And I bid goodbye...
hmm... yesh I don't want him to go rather, I want him to stay with us on our overnight there
But we had no choice but to just bid goodbye I guess
and then I went to the CR to wash my face
My friends said I was sooo slow
and then those guys came
And when I finish washing my face, I asked if Bart and Knight already went out
But they said they were still there
ahahah! yesh, I was really happy my Knight was still there
I really want him to guard me... ahahah :D
and then we went to the second floor coz we will sleep there
and then Knight bid goodbye for the 2nd time... and yes he will already went home that time
hmm... so I think maybe I'll just sleep coz I'm tired
But then, I charged my cellphone coz I'm battery empty
Glecy and Marianne were already tired and sleeping sound
I can't sleep, so when Bart went to our room, we tell stories and such
We were talking about my Knight
He said that he was a nice person etc
and I agree with that :)
hmm... He gave me some advices, and I was like, agreeing to whatever he says
Yesh I was serious talking to him
I even told him all the things Knight said to me
and then, he said that I should accept Knight's feelings for me
I didn't know that Marianne was still awake and I think she heard our conversation
and then she joined our story telling
and the topic jumped from there to scary stories
They were really on to it... Telling creepy and scary stuffs
I hate scary stuffs, so I don't want to listen anymore
And I always turn on the lights on my cellphone
It was already, 2am in the morning I think
And then Camilo comes in, telling his experiences
They were really scary, and up to this point I can't forget about them -_-"...
sigh... and then after that, we decided to sleep
I think I sleep for an hour...
ok so that ends the socials
I'll continue this on my entry for December 16
ahehhe... so, chao! :D
hmm... so where were we?
hmm... Did I already told you about cart city?
and we walked like, from there to near metrotown?
yeah, I was in my bad mood... -_-...
Becoz I was sooo sleepy and tired otl
hmm... and then they (my classmates) decided to bring us to Stephen's boarding house
and so, Bart, Baldo, Marianne, Glecy, Knight and I went there
I felt Bart was so worried about us
Even though he wants to be with those guys, he didn't go
He's like a big bro to me I guess :)
hmm... after that, uwah... I feel so much comfortable and I lay down of exhaustment
ahahah... and I saw a big pink bear again... I hugged it and uwaahh... I felt so tired
But they opened the TV and I asked them to turn the channel on cartoon network
We watched Naruto... ahahah XD
hmm... after that, my Knight told us that he had to go...
And I bid goodbye...
hmm... yesh I don't want him to go rather, I want him to stay with us on our overnight there
But we had no choice but to just bid goodbye I guess
and then I went to the CR to wash my face
My friends said I was sooo slow
and then those guys came
And when I finish washing my face, I asked if Bart and Knight already went out
But they said they were still there
ahahah! yesh, I was really happy my Knight was still there
I really want him to guard me... ahahah :D
and then we went to the second floor coz we will sleep there
and then Knight bid goodbye for the 2nd time... and yes he will already went home that time
hmm... so I think maybe I'll just sleep coz I'm tired
But then, I charged my cellphone coz I'm battery empty
Glecy and Marianne were already tired and sleeping sound
I can't sleep, so when Bart went to our room, we tell stories and such
We were talking about my Knight
He said that he was a nice person etc
and I agree with that :)
hmm... He gave me some advices, and I was like, agreeing to whatever he says
Yesh I was serious talking to him
I even told him all the things Knight said to me
and then, he said that I should accept Knight's feelings for me
I didn't know that Marianne was still awake and I think she heard our conversation
and then she joined our story telling
and the topic jumped from there to scary stories
They were really on to it... Telling creepy and scary stuffs
I hate scary stuffs, so I don't want to listen anymore
And I always turn on the lights on my cellphone
It was already, 2am in the morning I think
And then Camilo comes in, telling his experiences
They were really scary, and up to this point I can't forget about them -_-"...
sigh... and then after that, we decided to sleep
I think I sleep for an hour...
ok so that ends the socials
I'll continue this on my entry for December 16
ahehhe... so, chao! :D
Friday, December 18, 2009
Socialization 2009!!! sigh -_-...
ok so this entry is about the socials and the happenings last December 15, 2009:
December 15, 2009 - Tuesday
Woah! Yeah! The day of our socialization has finally arrived! O(^-^)o
ahihihi... Yeah... suuuuuper excited! XD even though I was really exhausted yesterday -_-...
hmm... But first, we had a class on our Rizal subject
We check some papers... and then no more classes! woot! :D
hmm... But then I don't want to go home yet... coz It's still 9:30 am
And Mom and I had a fight -_-...
My Knight told me to help him buy a gift for their exchange gift on their org
And so we went to Metrotown to buy the doll we saw last time
We walked from school to there... and from there to school... ahehhe... -_-...
hmm... and then on our way to my house, we saw Baldo near the net cafe near the school (?)
He wanted to borrow my lectures in multimedia, so we went there for a while to give him that
And there I saw Marianne, Glecy and Tin hanging around... and some of my classmates of course
I was like, *gulp... oh no... -_-"
They saw us together....
You know why I don't like them to see us together?
It's becoz they'll just tease us
And my 3 friends, will think I prefer to be with my Knight rather than with them
They do really misunderstand me when it comes to Knight -_-...
ugh... specially Glecy -_-...
hmm... But thank goodness they didn't say anything
and just treated me ordinarily
after that, my Knight walked me home
He asked me if he can come to my house,
but I insisted, I told him about the fight with my mom
So, I went home and just sleep
I saw my mom but I didn't talk
I told my mom about the overnight... and she just said yes
hmm... what more...
At 5pm my Knight went at my house... coz he''ll pick me up ^^
And he gave me his present to me
It's the ryoma doll I really want from the UFO catcher we saw at the mall...
aww... sooo sweet! XD
And I was shocked coz Glecy and Marianne went too
But I thought it would be more ok if they went with him ^^
So, they told my mom about the overnight and about the socials
Oh by the way, I wore a miniskirt and I was a total girly... eheh - -,
But my mom said to change my skirt into pants... which I don't want
She convinced me when Glecy told me to just change when we're at school
hmm... I was changing in my room
and mom and dad asked so many things from my knight
yesh I heard everything... coz my room has a balcony so I can hear eveything whenever people are at the sala
hmm... and then after that, we went to Jo's boarding house
coz Marianne and Glecy wants to change clothes
My Knight saw this white fluffy big bear that I longed for
He was hugging it... and I feel envious so I snatched it and hug it
uwah... I really want something like that D:
Me and my Knight were fooling around giving names to that bear
And I named it... "popo" XD
Coz there's a pooh name on the tag on its back
ahahah! my friends said thatme and my knight were sooo sweet that time XD
then Marianne, Glecy and I went to the mall to buy foods
My knight didn't want to go... I think coz he doesn't have money... -_-...
But then I returned coz my bag is sooo heavy
and u know what happened?
When I was putting some of my cloths in Glecy's paperbag,
my bra suddenly jumped from my bag O_O
woah! good thing my knight was not looking.... phew! -_-....
I was laughing hard when I got outside the room
and I told Marianne and Glecy what happened
At the mall, I treated them with siomai
course I didn't treated them on my birthday, so I thought now's the time to treat them
When we came back to the boarding house, me and my knight listened to my friends mp4
The song was 'a thousand miles' which is one of my fav songs n_n
and then, 7pm, we went to the gym for the socials
My knight is right beside me... and I'm sooo happy coz this will be the first time we'll watch the socials together :D
hmm.... We enjoyed the socials n_n
Coz we're fooling around, laughing and telling stories together
ahahah! It's really fun! and I wasn't bored :)
and there was this time when he put his head on my shoulder
My heart beated so fast I was about to explode
I really don't know the feeling... It just suddenly came...
after the awarding... it's the disco
but then, he doesn't want to participate in the disco
I was relieved coz I don't want it either
He's such a good boy :)
hmm... after the socials... the plan is to go to stephen's boarding house and sleep
But they had another plan
coz Stephen and his girlfriend wants to go to cart city so they'll not go to the boarding house yet
We were forced to come with them
My Knight was very worried, and told me if my mom knew about this, she would get angry
I told him if it's ok for him to come
and yes he did come with us, co I think he's worried about me
There we saw our classmates drinking beer
My knight doesn't want to drink so we went away from them
Our classmates saw us and they were teasing us again
We didn't come inside coz they were going out there already
So now the plan was to go to stephen's place for our sake
I was sooo pissed off coz we've been walking and I feel sleepy
yesh I was in my worst mood again
ugh... ok so I'm tired writing... I'll just continue this tomorrow kay -_-....
December 15, 2009 - Tuesday
Woah! Yeah! The day of our socialization has finally arrived! O(^-^)o
ahihihi... Yeah... suuuuuper excited! XD even though I was really exhausted yesterday -_-...
hmm... But first, we had a class on our Rizal subject
We check some papers... and then no more classes! woot! :D
hmm... But then I don't want to go home yet... coz It's still 9:30 am
And Mom and I had a fight -_-...
My Knight told me to help him buy a gift for their exchange gift on their org
And so we went to Metrotown to buy the doll we saw last time
We walked from school to there... and from there to school... ahehhe... -_-...
hmm... and then on our way to my house, we saw Baldo near the net cafe near the school (?)
He wanted to borrow my lectures in multimedia, so we went there for a while to give him that
And there I saw Marianne, Glecy and Tin hanging around... and some of my classmates of course
I was like, *gulp... oh no... -_-"
They saw us together....
You know why I don't like them to see us together?
It's becoz they'll just tease us
And my 3 friends, will think I prefer to be with my Knight rather than with them
They do really misunderstand me when it comes to Knight -_-...
ugh... specially Glecy -_-...
hmm... But thank goodness they didn't say anything
and just treated me ordinarily
after that, my Knight walked me home
He asked me if he can come to my house,
but I insisted, I told him about the fight with my mom
So, I went home and just sleep
I saw my mom but I didn't talk
I told my mom about the overnight... and she just said yes
hmm... what more...
At 5pm my Knight went at my house... coz he''ll pick me up ^^
And he gave me his present to me
It's the ryoma doll I really want from the UFO catcher we saw at the mall...
aww... sooo sweet! XD
And I was shocked coz Glecy and Marianne went too
But I thought it would be more ok if they went with him ^^
So, they told my mom about the overnight and about the socials
Oh by the way, I wore a miniskirt and I was a total girly... eheh - -,
But my mom said to change my skirt into pants... which I don't want
She convinced me when Glecy told me to just change when we're at school
hmm... I was changing in my room
and mom and dad asked so many things from my knight
yesh I heard everything... coz my room has a balcony so I can hear eveything whenever people are at the sala
hmm... and then after that, we went to Jo's boarding house
coz Marianne and Glecy wants to change clothes
My Knight saw this white fluffy big bear that I longed for
He was hugging it... and I feel envious so I snatched it and hug it
uwah... I really want something like that D:
Me and my Knight were fooling around giving names to that bear
And I named it... "popo" XD
Coz there's a pooh name on the tag on its back
ahahah! my friends said thatme and my knight were sooo sweet that time XD
then Marianne, Glecy and I went to the mall to buy foods
My knight didn't want to go... I think coz he doesn't have money... -_-...
But then I returned coz my bag is sooo heavy
and u know what happened?
When I was putting some of my cloths in Glecy's paperbag,
my bra suddenly jumped from my bag O_O
woah! good thing my knight was not looking.... phew! -_-....
I was laughing hard when I got outside the room
and I told Marianne and Glecy what happened
At the mall, I treated them with siomai
course I didn't treated them on my birthday, so I thought now's the time to treat them
When we came back to the boarding house, me and my knight listened to my friends mp4
The song was 'a thousand miles' which is one of my fav songs n_n
and then, 7pm, we went to the gym for the socials
My knight is right beside me... and I'm sooo happy coz this will be the first time we'll watch the socials together :D
hmm.... We enjoyed the socials n_n
Coz we're fooling around, laughing and telling stories together
ahahah! It's really fun! and I wasn't bored :)
and there was this time when he put his head on my shoulder
My heart beated so fast I was about to explode
I really don't know the feeling... It just suddenly came...
after the awarding... it's the disco
but then, he doesn't want to participate in the disco
I was relieved coz I don't want it either
He's such a good boy :)
hmm... after the socials... the plan is to go to stephen's boarding house and sleep
But they had another plan
coz Stephen and his girlfriend wants to go to cart city so they'll not go to the boarding house yet
We were forced to come with them
My Knight was very worried, and told me if my mom knew about this, she would get angry
I told him if it's ok for him to come
and yes he did come with us, co I think he's worried about me
There we saw our classmates drinking beer
My knight doesn't want to drink so we went away from them
Our classmates saw us and they were teasing us again
We didn't come inside coz they were going out there already
So now the plan was to go to stephen's place for our sake
I was sooo pissed off coz we've been walking and I feel sleepy
yesh I was in my worst mood again
ugh... ok so I'm tired writing... I'll just continue this tomorrow kay -_-....
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Another week of not updating -_-...
ok so starting from December 12 to December 14
the rest I will put tomorrow -_-
So here it is!:
December 12, 2009 - Saturday
Yesh! It's my birthday ^^
But, woah! I had a very bad day!!
Anyhow..., I was kinda satisfied early morning :D
Coz the first person to greet me (besides my sis) is my Knight :)
aww... so sweet! XD
and so on and so fort ^^
the only thing that bothers me was my bestfriends didn't greeted me at all :(
hmm... but anyway,
today we attended a christmas party at Romjin
with the whole family of course
yesh! swimming! I was soooo excited XD
But then, I was irritated coz the Janitor there cut the electricity when I was charging my cellphone
WTF?! He did that on purpose!!!
arrggh... hateful creature should die!!!
what a moron!!! that s2peed low level person!!
He made my day worst!!! XC
I hate him forever!!!!
hmm... and then I thought of revenge
nyahahah!! I did throw trash here and there and everywhere! *evil laugh
hmm... and then I swam here and there... and everywhere... lol
ugh... but I didn't enjoy it... coz there were sooo many people XC
and there were kids having phlegm (?) in their nose... O_o
eww eww eww,,,
ugh... what a day!!!
and then I got to text my knight... and I texted my bestfriend coz I asked her if we will sleep at Stephen's place on socials
and then she replied, saying that she want to greet me exactly 12 midnight so that she's the one to greet me last
aww... I was touched... ahihihi
I was happy coz I thought she forgot my birthday :')
But then again she just wanted to suprise me X)
December 13,2009 - Sunday
Yesh another Christmas Party swimming XD
And today it's with the PTA officers in our college, CCS
We waited at Mcdonalds
and guess what, the other PTA officer had the same last name with my Knight O_o
I thought it was his Dad...
And so, I was nervous O_o
hmm... when he arrived, he was with a little girl
I thought it was my Knight's lil sis
But then when my dad asked him about his son
He said that his son was in 4th year
And I asked that little girl, named Shari, if she had an older bro
She said she doesn't have... So I was satisfied that that man wasn't his dad
Phew... I thought I met his dad in real!
But then again I was dissapointed... Coz I thought I can go swimming with my Knight -_-...
hmm... yesh! there were soooo many foods!!! nomnomnom :)
And my instructor in Management, Ma'am Rona, was with us
Coz she was the secretary in CCS PTA
hmm... woah! the view on top of the slide was sooo beautiful! :D
I was like there for a couple of times... and a couple of minutes...
nyahahahah! I learn to swim the mermaid swim XD
ee... and I guess, I enjoyed this day more than yesterday
I wish that this day was my birthday :)
December 14, 2009 - Monday
woah! I've been busy this couple of days...
Today was my interview for my OJT O_o
I was very nervous... *ba-dump ba-dump
And I was kinda not comfortable with my dress...
Corporate attire orz -_-...
hmm... and then my classmates saw me with that
they said that, I look different or some sort
woah! yesh! A total makeover! :-O
and then we went to Gerona, the place were we have our OJT
ee... yesh, 1st day I was late -_-...
and then, I saw the school
I look weird in the eyes of the students there O_o
ee... and then I met the principal
She was nice... but she said that I was assigned in a different task.. different from my classmates -_-...
hmm... I was assigned in an Internet cafe/Digital Studio
And now, the interview...
Woah! I lack english and communication skills... ahahah!
I was speaking in tagalog orz
Epic fail! otl
But my work was just sooo easy XD
I'm just making a web for their net cafe... in a free web hosting site
ahahah! yay! I already did that on our web engrng subject so it's easy-easy for me XD
hmm... but half day, from 9am to 12nn, I had a very bad feeling -_-
I don't feel so well, I feel like vomiting and my head is spinning
I was going to asked for a time out but I was very shy
And it's my first day though
but well, I did manage to overcome that
and I ate lunch with my friends
they asked their boss if I can be in their team
But he refused, so I had to go back to the net cafe
I was really on it the other half day
I did 5 layouts... and I impressed my boss :)
hmm... they were nice people there
and I learned some photoshop techniques
the rest I will put tomorrow -_-
So here it is!:
December 12, 2009 - Saturday
Yesh! It's my birthday ^^
But, woah! I had a very bad day!!
Anyhow..., I was kinda satisfied early morning :D
Coz the first person to greet me (besides my sis) is my Knight :)
aww... so sweet! XD
and so on and so fort ^^
the only thing that bothers me was my bestfriends didn't greeted me at all :(
hmm... but anyway,
today we attended a christmas party at Romjin
with the whole family of course
yesh! swimming! I was soooo excited XD
But then, I was irritated coz the Janitor there cut the electricity when I was charging my cellphone
WTF?! He did that on purpose!!!
arrggh... hateful creature should die!!!
what a moron!!! that s2peed low level person!!
He made my day worst!!! XC
I hate him forever!!!!
hmm... and then I thought of revenge
nyahahah!! I did throw trash here and there and everywhere! *evil laugh
hmm... and then I swam here and there... and everywhere... lol
ugh... but I didn't enjoy it... coz there were sooo many people XC
and there were kids having phlegm (?) in their nose... O_o
eww eww eww,,,
ugh... what a day!!!
and then I got to text my knight... and I texted my bestfriend coz I asked her if we will sleep at Stephen's place on socials
and then she replied, saying that she want to greet me exactly 12 midnight so that she's the one to greet me last
aww... I was touched... ahihihi
I was happy coz I thought she forgot my birthday :')
But then again she just wanted to suprise me X)
December 13,2009 - Sunday
Yesh another Christmas Party swimming XD
And today it's with the PTA officers in our college, CCS
We waited at Mcdonalds
and guess what, the other PTA officer had the same last name with my Knight O_o
I thought it was his Dad...
And so, I was nervous O_o
hmm... when he arrived, he was with a little girl
I thought it was my Knight's lil sis
But then when my dad asked him about his son
He said that his son was in 4th year
And I asked that little girl, named Shari, if she had an older bro
She said she doesn't have... So I was satisfied that that man wasn't his dad
Phew... I thought I met his dad in real!
But then again I was dissapointed... Coz I thought I can go swimming with my Knight -_-...
hmm... yesh! there were soooo many foods!!! nomnomnom :)
And my instructor in Management, Ma'am Rona, was with us
Coz she was the secretary in CCS PTA
hmm... woah! the view on top of the slide was sooo beautiful! :D
I was like there for a couple of times... and a couple of minutes...
nyahahahah! I learn to swim the mermaid swim XD
ee... and I guess, I enjoyed this day more than yesterday
I wish that this day was my birthday :)
December 14, 2009 - Monday
woah! I've been busy this couple of days...
Today was my interview for my OJT O_o
I was very nervous... *ba-dump ba-dump
And I was kinda not comfortable with my dress...
Corporate attire orz -_-...
hmm... and then my classmates saw me with that
they said that, I look different or some sort
woah! yesh! A total makeover! :-O
and then we went to Gerona, the place were we have our OJT
ee... yesh, 1st day I was late -_-...
and then, I saw the school
I look weird in the eyes of the students there O_o
ee... and then I met the principal
She was nice... but she said that I was assigned in a different task.. different from my classmates -_-...
hmm... I was assigned in an Internet cafe/Digital Studio
And now, the interview...
Woah! I lack english and communication skills... ahahah!
I was speaking in tagalog orz
Epic fail! otl
But my work was just sooo easy XD
I'm just making a web for their net cafe... in a free web hosting site
ahahah! yay! I already did that on our web engrng subject so it's easy-easy for me XD
hmm... but half day, from 9am to 12nn, I had a very bad feeling -_-
I don't feel so well, I feel like vomiting and my head is spinning
I was going to asked for a time out but I was very shy
And it's my first day though
but well, I did manage to overcome that
and I ate lunch with my friends
they asked their boss if I can be in their team
But he refused, so I had to go back to the net cafe
I was really on it the other half day
I did 5 layouts... and I impressed my boss :)
hmm... they were nice people there
and I learned some photoshop techniques
Saturday, December 12, 2009
A week update
woah! I didn't update for a week! O_o hmm... so now I'll post an update for each day
December 5,2009 - Saturday
Our puppy, Chimpay, is not going to be here anymore...
My parents decided to give it to our relatives
yeah it's kinda sad coz I'll miss her T^T
I really like having a pet... specially a puppy
And I did made more memories with her
I'll miss the times when we play together,
and when she's eating
and when she's wiggling her tail XD
aww... Now I'm missing her T^T
but it's ok... I think they will take care of her the same way we did :)
December 6,2009 - Sunday
We went to church with my lola and autie
My aunt has a cancer...
I saw her with a face mask
And her head is covered, I think she wore a wig
Yeah, she's undergoing kimotheraphy
If anyone does read this blog pls pray for her
BTW, she gave me and my sis bracelets
hmm... and then after that we went to KFC to eat :)
December 7, 2009 - Monday
Nothing much happened...
or... uwah... I don't remember what happened anymore -_-...
I think, I was drawing something
For the contests that I joined in deviantart :P
December 8, 2009 - Tuesday
Our prof in Rizal told us that we'll be having our first quiz on thursday
And we had our quiz in management and automata
hmm... I was really into studying that time
What more happened... hmm.. nothing much I think
My Knight didn't walked me home... I was kinda sad
I was with Bart (chouji) that time,
I told him what I feel for my Knight
I hope he'll never say it to him
December 9,2009 - Wednesday
We still waited for our prof in CISCO for like, an hour or more
And when he arrived and opened the lab, lefted us doing nothing
Then after a few minutes, he just want us to pass our certificates and then leave
What the?! I think I will have to self study this time -_-...
what a pain...
And then my friends bought sun sim cards
It's very cheap so I decided to buy too
hmm... after class, I went to the library and return the book I borrowed
I was like shocked a bit coz my knight followed me
but just to photocopy my lectures in rizal
And then after that he asked me if he can walk me home
His friend, Musni, was like joking around
He's bullying us... saying things like this and that
My knight was really quite that time
And I was pissed off
I refuse, I just said that I'll have to render service in the library
And then I bid goodbye and he just said nothing
I was really hurt
But I just thought I have to render the service in the library and just focus on the more important thing
The librarian said that they got 2 student assistants so they're not acceptig anymore
So I went to OSA and got accepted there as a student assistant
I was not like doing anything there, just sitting til 6pm
And at 6 I went home alone and sad...
Its dark and I was like walking so slow
I was thinking if my knight is really taking me for granted
December 10, 2009 - Thursday
So the day of the quiz in Rizal arrived
I didn't sleep last night, I was doing something
Coloring my entry for friendship contest in deviantart
and then reviewed a little
So I was not really on myself
we had no class on management
And I decided to went home coz we had an assignment on automata
I hate some of my classmates..
they always rely on me whenever we have homeworks
so I said that I still have no assignment
It's just my excuse so that they'll not copy mine
hmm... and then, my knight is ignoring me again
I really want him to walk me home
But he had a meeting in Ssite -_-...
ugh, I know he should be doing those things first but
I can't stop myself from not being angry
Yeah I know he's not my boyfriend
but, I really want someone to accompany me
He thought I'll render service in OSA
but I was down that time I decided not go there
December 11,2009 - Friday
1 day before my birthday
And today is Marianne's monthsary with his bf
I feel nothing for my birthday
on my pst bdays, I was really excited when my bday comes
but now it's feels different
I wasn't excited at all
I don't want to grow old
I wanted to be 18 for so long
But what can I do, I can't stop time
So I have to accept it -_-..
hmm... we were the first batch in our multimedia subject
so we went our for lunch 10pm
My knight was in second batch, but he switch in 1st
He asked me if I'm free for 10pm
But I said that Mom and I have someplace to go
He said if he can come along
but I said, he can't coz I think we'll be going somewhere and we will be taking long
He insisted, he wants me to go with him at lucinda at 11
Coz there will be a meeting or some sort
for there religion, Iglesia ni Cristo
He accomapny me to the phonebooth coz I'll call my Mom
I told her that it's my freetime
And she said to wait for her at magicstar til 10:30
My knight then accompany me to magicstar
We were eating at the foodcourt
yesh my anger at him went away
we were laughing and telling stories etc
Like somebody already confess feelings for him
And about things like religions
I was really happy when I'm with him
after that he said that he was serious about me
And then, he express his feelings for me
I was shocked that time
He said that he like me, but there is this one reason preventing his feelings for me
He said that it's becoz of his religion
Coz, if somebody saw him having a relationship with someone who has a different religion
He will be exiled, or banished from his religion, something like that
I was then confused, I don't want that to happen
He said that he was really attached to his religion
And I understand that
But then he said if we'll be in a relationship, we can keep that as our secret
But I told him it would be his or our conscience if we do that
And I was really touched on the next thing he said
He said that, if it's that's the case, then he's willing to change religion
of course I don't want that to happen... He'll be sad...
He's so dedicated in their religion and now, becoz of me he'll leave
I now he doesn't mean to say that
But he's really serious about me
He even rejected the girl who liked her, even though they have the same religion
course I was confused, I can't decide whether to accept his feelings or not
I did think that if I turn to their religion, it would be fine but
I should also think of what my parents would like
there's too many angles, I can't think straight
He asked me if I like him too
I really want to tell him but, for now I can't
After what I heard,if I told him I liked him, what will happen?
And after all, I wasn't sure about my feelings
uwaah... what should I do?
The wrong way oo accept his feelings and be happy
Or the right way to refuse him and stay as friends
hmm... and then my mom arrived
but he (my knight) already left coz it's 11:15 already
the truth is, I'll be having my hair cut and I want it to be a secret
I was really thinking of what to do while my hair is being cutted
and while walking too
after that, I went to school,
yesh my classmates saw my new haircut
and my knight saw it too
I think my new hairstyle is cute
So, after class, my knight walked me home
but he said it's still early so he asked me if I want to go somewhere
so we went to enigma to look for PCs
and then we went to metrotown coz he'll look for something for their exchange gift
hmm... we walked like, 5 km or less
but I enjoy it coz he's with me
I guess, I really like him
but I can't stop thinking about the fact about their religion
and I was scared if someone might see us together
hmm.. and then we were walking home,
and we sat for a while coz we were both tired
I told him what Glecy told me
and that's not to trust people so easily
and he said that, it's up to me if I should trust him
and what he said at the foodcourt was his true feelings
I don't know if I should trust anymore
I told him that, if you were tricked on the past (about prince), it's not easy to trust anymore
and he undestand that
he said that if I need more time, then it's fine with him
and we should talk about that in the right time
yes I was relieved, but i think, how long can he wait?
I do trust him, I trust him with all my heart
and then after that, my dad saw us there, sitting on the bushes (?)
ee... he, my knight, panicked (I think)
and then he leave coz he was really shocked... --,
and then my dad asked me why didn't I introduced him?
I was like nervous that time so it doesn't come to my mind
At home my mom knew what happened,
I was on my room thinking of what he said and what should I do
I'm really happy coz I was with him for a long time
and becoz of the things he sais,
most importantly, he confess his feelings
But on the other hand, sad becoz of the hindrances
uwah... I don't know what to follow
my heart? or my mind?
it's really difficult....
December 5,2009 - Saturday
Our puppy, Chimpay, is not going to be here anymore...
My parents decided to give it to our relatives
yeah it's kinda sad coz I'll miss her T^T
I really like having a pet... specially a puppy
And I did made more memories with her
I'll miss the times when we play together,
and when she's eating
and when she's wiggling her tail XD
aww... Now I'm missing her T^T
but it's ok... I think they will take care of her the same way we did :)
December 6,2009 - Sunday
We went to church with my lola and autie
My aunt has a cancer...
I saw her with a face mask
And her head is covered, I think she wore a wig
Yeah, she's undergoing kimotheraphy
If anyone does read this blog pls pray for her
BTW, she gave me and my sis bracelets
hmm... and then after that we went to KFC to eat :)
December 7, 2009 - Monday
Nothing much happened...
or... uwah... I don't remember what happened anymore -_-...
I think, I was drawing something
For the contests that I joined in deviantart :P
December 8, 2009 - Tuesday
Our prof in Rizal told us that we'll be having our first quiz on thursday
And we had our quiz in management and automata
hmm... I was really into studying that time
What more happened... hmm.. nothing much I think
My Knight didn't walked me home... I was kinda sad
I was with Bart (chouji) that time,
I told him what I feel for my Knight
I hope he'll never say it to him
December 9,2009 - Wednesday
We still waited for our prof in CISCO for like, an hour or more
And when he arrived and opened the lab, lefted us doing nothing
Then after a few minutes, he just want us to pass our certificates and then leave
What the?! I think I will have to self study this time -_-...
what a pain...
And then my friends bought sun sim cards
It's very cheap so I decided to buy too
hmm... after class, I went to the library and return the book I borrowed
I was like shocked a bit coz my knight followed me
but just to photocopy my lectures in rizal
And then after that he asked me if he can walk me home
His friend, Musni, was like joking around
He's bullying us... saying things like this and that
My knight was really quite that time
And I was pissed off
I refuse, I just said that I'll have to render service in the library
And then I bid goodbye and he just said nothing
I was really hurt
But I just thought I have to render the service in the library and just focus on the more important thing
The librarian said that they got 2 student assistants so they're not acceptig anymore
So I went to OSA and got accepted there as a student assistant
I was not like doing anything there, just sitting til 6pm
And at 6 I went home alone and sad...
Its dark and I was like walking so slow
I was thinking if my knight is really taking me for granted
December 10, 2009 - Thursday
So the day of the quiz in Rizal arrived
I didn't sleep last night, I was doing something
Coloring my entry for friendship contest in deviantart
and then reviewed a little
So I was not really on myself
we had no class on management
And I decided to went home coz we had an assignment on automata
I hate some of my classmates..
they always rely on me whenever we have homeworks
so I said that I still have no assignment
It's just my excuse so that they'll not copy mine
hmm... and then, my knight is ignoring me again
I really want him to walk me home
But he had a meeting in Ssite -_-...
ugh, I know he should be doing those things first but
I can't stop myself from not being angry
Yeah I know he's not my boyfriend
but, I really want someone to accompany me
He thought I'll render service in OSA
but I was down that time I decided not go there
December 11,2009 - Friday
1 day before my birthday
And today is Marianne's monthsary with his bf
I feel nothing for my birthday
on my pst bdays, I was really excited when my bday comes
but now it's feels different
I wasn't excited at all
I don't want to grow old
I wanted to be 18 for so long
But what can I do, I can't stop time
So I have to accept it -_-..
hmm... we were the first batch in our multimedia subject
so we went our for lunch 10pm
My knight was in second batch, but he switch in 1st
He asked me if I'm free for 10pm
But I said that Mom and I have someplace to go
He said if he can come along
but I said, he can't coz I think we'll be going somewhere and we will be taking long
He insisted, he wants me to go with him at lucinda at 11
Coz there will be a meeting or some sort
for there religion, Iglesia ni Cristo
He accomapny me to the phonebooth coz I'll call my Mom
I told her that it's my freetime
And she said to wait for her at magicstar til 10:30
My knight then accompany me to magicstar
We were eating at the foodcourt
yesh my anger at him went away
we were laughing and telling stories etc
Like somebody already confess feelings for him
And about things like religions
I was really happy when I'm with him
after that he said that he was serious about me
And then, he express his feelings for me
I was shocked that time
He said that he like me, but there is this one reason preventing his feelings for me
He said that it's becoz of his religion
Coz, if somebody saw him having a relationship with someone who has a different religion
He will be exiled, or banished from his religion, something like that
I was then confused, I don't want that to happen
He said that he was really attached to his religion
And I understand that
But then he said if we'll be in a relationship, we can keep that as our secret
But I told him it would be his or our conscience if we do that
And I was really touched on the next thing he said
He said that, if it's that's the case, then he's willing to change religion
of course I don't want that to happen... He'll be sad...
He's so dedicated in their religion and now, becoz of me he'll leave
I now he doesn't mean to say that
But he's really serious about me
He even rejected the girl who liked her, even though they have the same religion
course I was confused, I can't decide whether to accept his feelings or not
I did think that if I turn to their religion, it would be fine but
I should also think of what my parents would like
there's too many angles, I can't think straight
He asked me if I like him too
I really want to tell him but, for now I can't
After what I heard,if I told him I liked him, what will happen?
And after all, I wasn't sure about my feelings
uwaah... what should I do?
The wrong way oo accept his feelings and be happy
Or the right way to refuse him and stay as friends
hmm... and then my mom arrived
but he (my knight) already left coz it's 11:15 already
the truth is, I'll be having my hair cut and I want it to be a secret
I was really thinking of what to do while my hair is being cutted
and while walking too
after that, I went to school,
yesh my classmates saw my new haircut
and my knight saw it too
I think my new hairstyle is cute
So, after class, my knight walked me home
but he said it's still early so he asked me if I want to go somewhere
so we went to enigma to look for PCs
and then we went to metrotown coz he'll look for something for their exchange gift
hmm... we walked like, 5 km or less
but I enjoy it coz he's with me
I guess, I really like him
but I can't stop thinking about the fact about their religion
and I was scared if someone might see us together
hmm.. and then we were walking home,
and we sat for a while coz we were both tired
I told him what Glecy told me
and that's not to trust people so easily
and he said that, it's up to me if I should trust him
and what he said at the foodcourt was his true feelings
I don't know if I should trust anymore
I told him that, if you were tricked on the past (about prince), it's not easy to trust anymore
and he undestand that
he said that if I need more time, then it's fine with him
and we should talk about that in the right time
yes I was relieved, but i think, how long can he wait?
I do trust him, I trust him with all my heart
and then after that, my dad saw us there, sitting on the bushes (?)
ee... he, my knight, panicked (I think)
and then he leave coz he was really shocked... --,
and then my dad asked me why didn't I introduced him?
I was like nervous that time so it doesn't come to my mind
At home my mom knew what happened,
I was on my room thinking of what he said and what should I do
I'm really happy coz I was with him for a long time
and becoz of the things he sais,
most importantly, he confess his feelings
But on the other hand, sad becoz of the hindrances
uwah... I don't know what to follow
my heart? or my mind?
it's really difficult....
Thursday, December 3, 2009
worst mood
Mood:
<--I'm on my worst mood orz
Hello there -_-...
Yesh, I've been on my worst mood
It started this morning... when our prof in Rizal told us something...
hmm... should I keep it to myself, or should I write it here?
well ok I'll write it It's like this,
she told us about discipline...
and I was really on to it
She was saying about making commitments and relationships...
And listening to our parents
I realized something from what she said
You know what I realized?
That I am too spoiled and I always want to get what I want
I don't listen to others and I am close-minded
That time... I was about to cry
But I don't want to so I keep on hiding my face
And after that, I was sad and quiet on our next subjects
They were asking me what's the problem
And I just said... like... nothing
I want to keep it to myself
I don't want others to see my weakness you know
hmm... and then on our next subject, they even noticed that I was too serious
Bart and Glecy even told me that I look scary and all
I was really on my worst mood...
After that, lunch time I decided to be alone
I want to cry but I choose not to coz we will report on our retorika subject
So I make a draft about my report
And I calm myself down...
hmm... next is on our subject automata theory
I was really listening to the lecture
My friend, Neil, asked me things like, what's wrong and what's the problem
And Kristian said that this isn't like me something like that
I appreciate their concern...
hmm... about my knight... he's not talking to me orz -_-...
I was really expecting he'll encourage me or asked me about my mood... but no...
Next, we reported and I was not really ready
So my report is a failure T^T
It's a group report and our grade is only 7 out of 10
I felt down for not giving my best
But at the same time I was so sleepy so nevermind -_-...
and then, school's finish and I went to the library to borrow a book
I'm expecting my knight would talk to me even just a little time
But still, I didn't see him...
He didn't even walked me home...
I guess... he never did notice my mood
ugh... I hate it...
He doesn't seem to care
I was walking home alone and I was really really sad...
I want someone to talk to but no one I know is around..
sigh... I just realized that he seem to be not around whenever I have a problem...
So... I guess it's the right decision to just... like not talk to him?
ee... I still don' t know what to do...
I still think, he's taking me for granted...
But... gah! we're not on a relationship for crying out loud!
ee... Am I thinking too much?
hmm... He just texted me something and that made me even more mad :(
he doesn't really seem to care T^T
sigh... ok so just let it be... I don't care now...
But I'm so hurt... T^T
<--I'm on my worst mood orz Hello there -_-...
Yesh, I've been on my worst mood
It started this morning... when our prof in Rizal told us something...
hmm... should I keep it to myself, or should I write it here?
well ok I'll write it It's like this,
she told us about discipline...
and I was really on to it
She was saying about making commitments and relationships...
And listening to our parents
I realized something from what she said
You know what I realized?
That I am too spoiled and I always want to get what I want
I don't listen to others and I am close-minded
That time... I was about to cry
But I don't want to so I keep on hiding my face
And after that, I was sad and quiet on our next subjects
They were asking me what's the problem
And I just said... like... nothing
I want to keep it to myself
I don't want others to see my weakness you know
hmm... and then on our next subject, they even noticed that I was too serious
Bart and Glecy even told me that I look scary and all
I was really on my worst mood...
After that, lunch time I decided to be alone
I want to cry but I choose not to coz we will report on our retorika subject
So I make a draft about my report
And I calm myself down...
hmm... next is on our subject automata theory
I was really listening to the lecture
My friend, Neil, asked me things like, what's wrong and what's the problem
And Kristian said that this isn't like me something like that
I appreciate their concern...
hmm... about my knight... he's not talking to me orz -_-...
I was really expecting he'll encourage me or asked me about my mood... but no...
Next, we reported and I was not really ready
So my report is a failure T^T
It's a group report and our grade is only 7 out of 10
I felt down for not giving my best
But at the same time I was so sleepy so nevermind -_-...
and then, school's finish and I went to the library to borrow a book
I'm expecting my knight would talk to me even just a little time
But still, I didn't see him...
He didn't even walked me home...
I guess... he never did notice my mood
ugh... I hate it...
He doesn't seem to care
I was walking home alone and I was really really sad...
I want someone to talk to but no one I know is around..
sigh... I just realized that he seem to be not around whenever I have a problem...
So... I guess it's the right decision to just... like not talk to him?
ee... I still don' t know what to do...
I still think, he's taking me for granted...
But... gah! we're not on a relationship for crying out loud!
ee... Am I thinking too much?
hmm... He just texted me something and that made me even more mad :(
he doesn't really seem to care T^T
sigh... ok so just let it be... I don't care now...
But I'm so hurt... T^T
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I'm back + being true + a much stronger me... hello and goodbye
Mood:
<-- being used and left behind
Konichiwa! Reimei here! *waves
So today is a very odd day
I've been in so much trouble...
First off,in CISCO, which is our first subject and from 7am to 12nn, our prof didn't came
Hpmf! What the?! I was really pissed off! I want to learn in school that's why I study and now this?!
Ugh! And it was our most expensive subject by the way! XC
I just hate lazy profs... not all the time but I want to atleast pass the subject
They say CISCO 2 is the hardest of all CISCOs
And I want to learn about that...
Ugh... I just wasted my time waiting for nothing -_-..
anyway, continue
We were still waiting and can't do anything
So we talk and chat with each other
I show them the pictures of my puppy Chimpay
ahahah! They said that she was sooo cute! XD
After that, my knight and his friend came
His friend, lets just call him Musni, joked around and asked me few questions about my knight
And I was so shy and can't say things straight
I don't answer his questions directly coz I'm annoyed
I don't want to be asked questions like that you know
I blush alot and people can see my weaknesses
And I can't look straight at my knight coz I'm really shy
The worst thing happened was, when Musni dragged Nimfa along
And my knight just moved away
Did I tell you that my knight liked Nimfa before me?
hmm... that moment was like, confusing
My friends told me that, if he really doesn't like Nimfa anymore,
Why would he move away like that?
They said, there must be something going on between them
I don't want to believe but, if it is the truth, I'll be hurt
And yesh, I'm hurt that time, nobody saw it
You know, whenever I see them together,
I always think that they were a cute couple
I don't know but, that's what I think... They are really fitted to each other when you look at them
Even though I'm hurt, I still can't restrain myself from being happy seeing somebody like that
It's like, a couple from an anime or manga
ahahah! Odd... Even though I like my knight that much, I still think that way n_n
A very weird feeling huh
Anyway, when they finally go away
My friends asked me what I feel for my knight
My heart wants to answer that question so badly, but my mind thought of something
And I just said, "It's really hard telling the truth"
"And I don't want to be hurt again"
That moment they asked about Prince too
I told them the truth, that I just liked him becoz he said he liked me too that time
And it's different from now I think
ahahha! I just want to clear something that's all
At 10am, we decided not to wait anymore
My classmates wants to go at my house, but I don't want to
Coz I was planning to go to the library to search for the book we've been asked to search
And of course I really want to study that time coz I felt I become more lazy this sem -_-...
They were really convincing me, but still I refuse
So we just went to computer zone to window shopping for Marianne's laptop
After that they now want to go to Stephen's boarding house
I still refuse coz I still want to go to the library
And I succeed! nyahahaha! lololol
hmm... In the afternoon came a really huge misunderstanding
We were asked to group ourselves ni our system and analysis design (SAD) subject
And it is one of the hardest subject ever!
So I decided to stick along the people who I can trust
I didn't choose my friends Marianne, Glecy and Tin
And I think they were angry
I said that I promise one of my groupmate to be in his group
Glecy said that I also promised them that I'll be in their group, which is not so true
I didn't promise them anything... They were the ones who made that decision by themselves
And now she thinks I'm a lier and a traitor? What kind of mind that she have?
I don't want to think abou this but, she's being too dependent on me
Yesh she's always giving me advices... I'm really glad but
Why does she have to hold me in my neck?
She's always saying things like, I'm a not so good friend and I don't have a debt of gratitude to them
Who does she think she is? Yesh I'm angry at her right now
Totally pissed off
You know what I felt that time?
I felt that I was being used and stuck-up with them!
Can't I decide for my own?
I always get mad at her for what she says... This happened many times
I just control myself from spilling my madness orz
And then after that, some of my classmates wants to photocopy the book that I borrowed from the library
So I accompany them... Marianne and the two others said that they were going somewhere and will return coz we were going to look for more laptops
That time I thought they were saying things about me
And that's the truth, they were really talking about me
Saying things that I would never want to hear
I was really pissed off and I'm in my worst mood
My knight accompany me at school but he went away coz he had something to do
That time, I got mad at him too, coz he doesn't even feel that I'm in such a mood and I want somebody to talk to
I think he heard me refusing them (my friends) about the grouping
I don't know what he thought about that
But nevermind... the point is that he wasn't on my side that time
Well anyway, My friend Bart accompany me
And I told him what I feel about Glecy
He was like angry too coz of that...
I really appreciate his care... I know he is like that
But I still have regrets telling him my feelings coz I nkow he might spill that out -_-...
hmm... Then, Marianne and Glecy came
And I told them not to look for a laptop anymore coz there were no installments in enigma
They convince me to see the leaflet about the laptop with installment at home
So we walked together to my house
In our way, they were talking to each other and I was really quiet
You know what I think of them that time?
They are like, plastic people
They were laughing but deep inside them, they were angry
I hate people like that... Why don't they say things straight to my face instead of keeping it to themselves?
That's why my mood became even worst
Good thing my puppy was here to make my problems go away
But my mom said that we will give it to grandma
Yesh I'm sad about that... I'll miss her so much! XC
She's so cute and hyper! I don't want her to go away T^T
hmm... So til here! I think this is so long -_-...
I hope tomorrow will be ok
Gudnyt!
<-- being used and left behindKonichiwa! Reimei here! *waves
So today is a very odd day
I've been in so much trouble...
First off,in CISCO, which is our first subject and from 7am to 12nn, our prof didn't came
Hpmf! What the?! I was really pissed off! I want to learn in school that's why I study and now this?!
Ugh! And it was our most expensive subject by the way! XC
I just hate lazy profs... not all the time but I want to atleast pass the subject
They say CISCO 2 is the hardest of all CISCOs
And I want to learn about that...
Ugh... I just wasted my time waiting for nothing -_-..
anyway, continue
We were still waiting and can't do anything
So we talk and chat with each other
I show them the pictures of my puppy Chimpay
ahahah! They said that she was sooo cute! XD
After that, my knight and his friend came
His friend, lets just call him Musni, joked around and asked me few questions about my knight
And I was so shy and can't say things straight
I don't answer his questions directly coz I'm annoyed
I don't want to be asked questions like that you know
I blush alot and people can see my weaknesses
And I can't look straight at my knight coz I'm really shy
The worst thing happened was, when Musni dragged Nimfa along
And my knight just moved away
Did I tell you that my knight liked Nimfa before me?
hmm... that moment was like, confusing
My friends told me that, if he really doesn't like Nimfa anymore,
Why would he move away like that?
They said, there must be something going on between them
I don't want to believe but, if it is the truth, I'll be hurt
And yesh, I'm hurt that time, nobody saw it
You know, whenever I see them together,
I always think that they were a cute couple
I don't know but, that's what I think... They are really fitted to each other when you look at them
Even though I'm hurt, I still can't restrain myself from being happy seeing somebody like that
It's like, a couple from an anime or manga
ahahah! Odd... Even though I like my knight that much, I still think that way n_n
A very weird feeling huh
Anyway, when they finally go away
My friends asked me what I feel for my knight
My heart wants to answer that question so badly, but my mind thought of something
And I just said, "It's really hard telling the truth"
"And I don't want to be hurt again"
That moment they asked about Prince too
I told them the truth, that I just liked him becoz he said he liked me too that time
And it's different from now I think
ahahha! I just want to clear something that's all
At 10am, we decided not to wait anymore
My classmates wants to go at my house, but I don't want to
Coz I was planning to go to the library to search for the book we've been asked to search
And of course I really want to study that time coz I felt I become more lazy this sem -_-...
They were really convincing me, but still I refuse
So we just went to computer zone to window shopping for Marianne's laptop
After that they now want to go to Stephen's boarding house
I still refuse coz I still want to go to the library
And I succeed! nyahahaha! lololol
hmm... In the afternoon came a really huge misunderstanding
We were asked to group ourselves ni our system and analysis design (SAD) subject
And it is one of the hardest subject ever!
So I decided to stick along the people who I can trust
I didn't choose my friends Marianne, Glecy and Tin
And I think they were angry
I said that I promise one of my groupmate to be in his group
Glecy said that I also promised them that I'll be in their group, which is not so true
I didn't promise them anything... They were the ones who made that decision by themselves
And now she thinks I'm a lier and a traitor? What kind of mind that she have?
I don't want to think abou this but, she's being too dependent on me
Yesh she's always giving me advices... I'm really glad but
Why does she have to hold me in my neck?
She's always saying things like, I'm a not so good friend and I don't have a debt of gratitude to them
Who does she think she is? Yesh I'm angry at her right now
Totally pissed off
You know what I felt that time?
I felt that I was being used and stuck-up with them!
Can't I decide for my own?
I always get mad at her for what she says... This happened many times
I just control myself from spilling my madness orz
And then after that, some of my classmates wants to photocopy the book that I borrowed from the library
So I accompany them... Marianne and the two others said that they were going somewhere and will return coz we were going to look for more laptops
That time I thought they were saying things about me
And that's the truth, they were really talking about me
Saying things that I would never want to hear
I was really pissed off and I'm in my worst mood
My knight accompany me at school but he went away coz he had something to do
That time, I got mad at him too, coz he doesn't even feel that I'm in such a mood and I want somebody to talk to
I think he heard me refusing them (my friends) about the grouping
I don't know what he thought about that
But nevermind... the point is that he wasn't on my side that time
Well anyway, My friend Bart accompany me
And I told him what I feel about Glecy
He was like angry too coz of that...
I really appreciate his care... I know he is like that
But I still have regrets telling him my feelings coz I nkow he might spill that out -_-...
hmm... Then, Marianne and Glecy came
And I told them not to look for a laptop anymore coz there were no installments in enigma
They convince me to see the leaflet about the laptop with installment at home
So we walked together to my house
In our way, they were talking to each other and I was really quiet
You know what I think of them that time?
They are like, plastic people
They were laughing but deep inside them, they were angry
I hate people like that... Why don't they say things straight to my face instead of keeping it to themselves?
That's why my mood became even worst
Good thing my puppy was here to make my problems go away
But my mom said that we will give it to grandma
Yesh I'm sad about that... I'll miss her so much! XC
She's so cute and hyper! I don't want her to go away T^T
hmm... So til here! I think this is so long -_-...
I hope tomorrow will be ok
Gudnyt!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
overcoming my fear ^^
Mood:
<-- a bit hurt and fearless orz
yoh! aheh... I haven't post for 3 days.... ee... :P
well anyway, I'll just write those important events whatsoever
hmm... Saturday my knight ask me to go jogging with him
He said he'll come to our house at 5:30am
hmm... And I said, yeah sure... aheheh XD
but my mom... after I told her that, didn't want me to go
well at first she said I can go... But she's limiting me
Like, I can only go jogging our our subdivision only...
So I thought they didn't trusted me, and I was sooo mad I decided to not go
And we had a small argue about that
And I didn't talked to her like for a day
Sunday... hmm... nothing happened much
It's just an ordinary Sunday
I'm just home sleeping and all
And I was really quiet at home coz of what happened
Our puppy, Chimpay, is growing big now! OwO
woah! She's so hyper! ahahaha! XD
And yesterday I keep playing with her :D
Hmmm... So now, school starts again today
yeah... I saw my knight... but we were both busy with our subjects...
So we didn't talk alot
And I was avoiding him for some reason
Wanna know my reason?
hmm... I don't know... coz I was too shy I think
and I was going to ask him something but I'm not ready
And I noticed that he doesn't want to talk to me anyway -_-...
hmm... After lunch, our subject was Automata theory
And I noticed that he's not around yet
so I thought he was absent
Yeah I was worried... I don't know why
But after a few minutes (like 30 minutes), he came
ee... but the worst part is, hmm... should I really write this?
Ok well this is a secret diary anyway so I'm going to write it
That time when he came, he sat beside Nimfa
Nimfa is the girl he liked before me... I think
And my classmates were like... Aiiiiiiiii~!
you know, they link them together
And you know what I felt?
I felt... ouch... that hurts
Even though I was smiling that time,
And even though I was looking at them and teasing them too,
Deep inside, I was hurt
Yep! Hurt sooo much T^T
But what can I do? I don't want them to see my weakness
And my friends, who knew that I like him, looked at me
I don't know what they were thinking but I think they want to see my reaction about that
But it's really ok... I know it was just a joke
So... Don't mind don't mind! n_n
ahahah!
woah I'm faking again
hmm... ok so after school, because we were waiting for our certificates to be signed,
we were at school til 6:15pm
Me, my knight and 2 of my classmates
but after that we decided to go home and let our prof sign tomorrow
hmm... My knight wanted to walk me home
But I refuse, I said it's ok... he should go to where he should be going that time
And then after saying this and that, I finally convinced him
He thought I was pushing him away
But for me, I was just concerned becoz I don't want him to worry about me so much
I think I'm becoming a bother
He can't concentrate on what he should be doing
And the more important things... I think
But, is it just me?
Or is it me that was having those problems? :(
ee... So I went home alone... Walk home alone
on my way home, it was really dark
And I wish he was with me
I wish he followed me
But no... I was really alone and I just thought, I can overcome this
Yesh I am afraid on walking on the dark... alone... and it's really cold
And it's a long way home
But I have to be brave... or else I can't go home
Yesh I was really really really afraid
I was walking really fast
And there were few tricycles and there were no light posts... T-T
ee... I was like, on a courage test that time
I was just thinking of nice stuffs
But my eyes keep on looking around
uwaah... and you know, midway I was like running coz I was really afraid
But after that I realized that, I did it!
I overcome my fear! yayz! :D
I realized that, I can still do things alone
and I can overcome my fears if I try
So I'm going to try it again
No, not walking in the dark again but, in another way
I want to overcome my greatest fear... my shyness
So ok til here!
2 weeks and it will be christmas vacation! yayz! 8D
<-- a bit hurt and fearless orzyoh! aheh... I haven't post for 3 days.... ee... :P
well anyway, I'll just write those important events whatsoever
hmm... Saturday my knight ask me to go jogging with him
He said he'll come to our house at 5:30am
hmm... And I said, yeah sure... aheheh XD
but my mom... after I told her that, didn't want me to go
well at first she said I can go... But she's limiting me
Like, I can only go jogging our our subdivision only...
So I thought they didn't trusted me, and I was sooo mad I decided to not go
And we had a small argue about that
And I didn't talked to her like for a day
Sunday... hmm... nothing happened much
It's just an ordinary Sunday
I'm just home sleeping and all
And I was really quiet at home coz of what happened
Our puppy, Chimpay, is growing big now! OwO
woah! She's so hyper! ahahaha! XD
And yesterday I keep playing with her :D
Hmmm... So now, school starts again today
yeah... I saw my knight... but we were both busy with our subjects...
So we didn't talk alot
And I was avoiding him for some reason
Wanna know my reason?
hmm... I don't know... coz I was too shy I think
and I was going to ask him something but I'm not ready
And I noticed that he doesn't want to talk to me anyway -_-...
hmm... After lunch, our subject was Automata theory
And I noticed that he's not around yet
so I thought he was absent
Yeah I was worried... I don't know why
But after a few minutes (like 30 minutes), he came
ee... but the worst part is, hmm... should I really write this?
Ok well this is a secret diary anyway so I'm going to write it
That time when he came, he sat beside Nimfa
Nimfa is the girl he liked before me... I think
And my classmates were like... Aiiiiiiiii~!
you know, they link them together
And you know what I felt?
I felt... ouch... that hurts
Even though I was smiling that time,
And even though I was looking at them and teasing them too,
Deep inside, I was hurt
Yep! Hurt sooo much T^T
But what can I do? I don't want them to see my weakness
And my friends, who knew that I like him, looked at me
I don't know what they were thinking but I think they want to see my reaction about that
But it's really ok... I know it was just a joke
So... Don't mind don't mind! n_n
ahahah!
woah I'm faking again
hmm... ok so after school, because we were waiting for our certificates to be signed,
we were at school til 6:15pm
Me, my knight and 2 of my classmates
but after that we decided to go home and let our prof sign tomorrow
hmm... My knight wanted to walk me home
But I refuse, I said it's ok... he should go to where he should be going that time
And then after saying this and that, I finally convinced him
He thought I was pushing him away
But for me, I was just concerned becoz I don't want him to worry about me so much
I think I'm becoming a bother
He can't concentrate on what he should be doing
And the more important things... I think
But, is it just me?
Or is it me that was having those problems? :(
ee... So I went home alone... Walk home alone
on my way home, it was really dark
And I wish he was with me
I wish he followed me
But no... I was really alone and I just thought, I can overcome this
Yesh I am afraid on walking on the dark... alone... and it's really cold
And it's a long way home
But I have to be brave... or else I can't go home
Yesh I was really really really afraid
I was walking really fast
And there were few tricycles and there were no light posts... T-T
ee... I was like, on a courage test that time
I was just thinking of nice stuffs
But my eyes keep on looking around
uwaah... and you know, midway I was like running coz I was really afraid
But after that I realized that, I did it!
I overcome my fear! yayz! :D
I realized that, I can still do things alone
and I can overcome my fears if I try
So I'm going to try it again
No, not walking in the dark again but, in another way
I want to overcome my greatest fear... my shyness
So ok til here!
2 weeks and it will be christmas vacation! yayz! 8D
Thursday, November 26, 2009
2012 movie + uber happy :D
Mood:
<-- Suuuper Happy~!
Hiyah there~!
Yay! yesh! I'm uber and super happy yesterday! yayz! XD
ahahah!
Let me tell you what happened yesterday n_n
My friends, Bart and Marianne, asked to watch a movie together
And Bart will treat us... aheheh n_n
hmm... He wanted to watch 'New moon'
but Marianne and I don't like that... we want to watch '2012'
But at 3pm we have a graduation to attend
and there they will award our scholarship sponsor, Mr. Amado K. Go
so we plan to watch at 5pm...
hmm... so first, We went to school to attend the awarding
and yayz! Me saw my knight again (coz we are both scholars)
hmm... Bart asked me to convince my knight to come with us and watch the movie
I thought we'll never convince him
coz I thought he don't like those stuffs... and it's just a waste of money on the first place
hmm... So the one who asked him was Bart, coz I was shy orz
And, you know what he said?
hmm... I think he said was something like, he doesn't have money... -_-...
aheheh... yeah I expect that lol XD
But deep inside I want him to come along
Coz it will be my first time to watch a movie in a theatre... after like 10 years
The last time I watched a movie inside a cinema was when I was in grade 1 (?)
ahehhe...
ok so continue...
We went together to the awarding
And after that, I bid goodbye to him coz we're going to watch the movie
And he didn't say a thing and just nod -_-...
Yesh, I was quite sad that time, coz like I said, I want to watch a movie with him
But then after a few minutes, we bought snacks and went inside the theatre
I was still sad that time... But just thought of watching a movie with my friends was also great
But then, someone texted me
and it was him, asking where were we
and I replied in a hurry telling him where we were
I didn't expect that he'll come over to watch too
and I was... nervous... at the same time... shocked
I was touched! I was sooo happy that time
The fact that, he already saw that movie but still, He come along just to watch with me :)
That's really sweet of him X3
And I was really happy when I saw him and sit beside me
It was really dark inside there so he didn't see me blushed (thank goodness)
uwaahh.... I feel so... ee... super happy!
We don't have something to eat so he asked me if I want something to eat
But becoz the movie was starting, he said that he'll buy the snacks
But I followed him coz I want to accompany him... ahahah!
And I want to ask him why did he come? even though he already saw the movie
Instead of answering, he just said that, don't you like that... something like...
He ask me if I don't like to watch with him
ee... and I answered... It's not like that...
I mean, I really want to watch with him
I want to tell him how happy I was he come that time
But I'm to shy to say it!
I hope he felt the happiness within my actions that time
And we bought snacks together at the grocery :D
ahahah! After the movie, He walked with me home
ee... Those moments were sooo special!
It's like, our first time watching a movie together XD
uwahahaah! The mood was sooo romantic! ahihihi *giggles
I hope something like that will happen again in the future n_n
I want to make more memories with him :D
<-- Suuuper Happy~!Hiyah there~!
Yay! yesh! I'm uber and super happy yesterday! yayz! XD
ahahah!
Let me tell you what happened yesterday n_n
My friends, Bart and Marianne, asked to watch a movie together
And Bart will treat us... aheheh n_n
hmm... He wanted to watch 'New moon'
but Marianne and I don't like that... we want to watch '2012'
But at 3pm we have a graduation to attend
and there they will award our scholarship sponsor, Mr. Amado K. Go
so we plan to watch at 5pm...
hmm... so first, We went to school to attend the awarding
and yayz! Me saw my knight again (coz we are both scholars)
hmm... Bart asked me to convince my knight to come with us and watch the movie
I thought we'll never convince him
coz I thought he don't like those stuffs... and it's just a waste of money on the first place
hmm... So the one who asked him was Bart, coz I was shy orz
And, you know what he said?
hmm... I think he said was something like, he doesn't have money... -_-...
aheheh... yeah I expect that lol XD
But deep inside I want him to come along
Coz it will be my first time to watch a movie in a theatre... after like 10 years
The last time I watched a movie inside a cinema was when I was in grade 1 (?)
ahehhe...
ok so continue...
We went together to the awarding
And after that, I bid goodbye to him coz we're going to watch the movie
And he didn't say a thing and just nod -_-...
Yesh, I was quite sad that time, coz like I said, I want to watch a movie with him
But then after a few minutes, we bought snacks and went inside the theatre
I was still sad that time... But just thought of watching a movie with my friends was also great
But then, someone texted me
and it was him, asking where were we
and I replied in a hurry telling him where we were
I didn't expect that he'll come over to watch too
and I was... nervous... at the same time... shocked
I was touched! I was sooo happy that time
The fact that, he already saw that movie but still, He come along just to watch with me :)
That's really sweet of him X3
And I was really happy when I saw him and sit beside me
It was really dark inside there so he didn't see me blushed (thank goodness)
uwaahh.... I feel so... ee... super happy!
We don't have something to eat so he asked me if I want something to eat
But becoz the movie was starting, he said that he'll buy the snacks
But I followed him coz I want to accompany him... ahahah!
And I want to ask him why did he come? even though he already saw the movie
Instead of answering, he just said that, don't you like that... something like...
He ask me if I don't like to watch with him
ee... and I answered... It's not like that...
I mean, I really want to watch with him
I want to tell him how happy I was he come that time
But I'm to shy to say it!
I hope he felt the happiness within my actions that time
And we bought snacks together at the grocery :D
ahahah! After the movie, He walked with me home
ee... Those moments were sooo special!
It's like, our first time watching a movie together XD
uwahahaah! The mood was sooo romantic! ahihihi *giggles
I hope something like that will happen again in the future n_n
I want to make more memories with him :D
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
stipend + me and Knight :D
Mood:
<-- Flattered and touched... Happy!
ee... so I'm going to post the 'what happened yesterday' again...
<-- Flattered and touched... Happy!ee... so I'm going to post the 'what happened yesterday' again...
coz I haven't posted it yesterday hehe gome ^^;
so... hmm... yesterday we got our stipend from Mr. Amado K. Go
uwahahah! P2000 + a tshirt and a calendar... lololol XD
and he said he's going to run as mayor next election, so I'll vote him :D
hmm... My parents are planning to buy me a laptop! yayz! XD
Yesterday my knight helped me window shopping for my laptop... ahihihi
aww... He's sooo sweet! *blushes
We went to different places to ask about err 2nd hand laptops
coz my budget is only 10k and below orz
hmm... woah! We walked like, 3 km or less?
hmm... But it was really fun!
Even though I'm shy and don't talk much and all, it was really great :D
I said that I was nervous that time coz he's with me but he always encourage me n_n
hmm... I was the one who got tired first... and he treated me again 8D
ee... oh by the way, he gave me a chocolate! XD
Dark chocolate toblerone! yayayay! XDDD
Dark chocolate toblerone! yayayay! XDDD
ahahah! woah I really like the taste of that! tee hee!
hmm... what more... ee... we've been texting each other
But sadly this is the last time I'll load my cp coz I'm really earning money for my laptop otl
*sigh... and I need to study hard... I won't let this as a hindrance to my dreams of course
and I need to balance things or else my place in our class will be taken away from me eheh
so, what happened today? nothing much I guess
I'm just here home and as usual, bored
but tomorrow I'll go to school again to attend a... meeting or something like that n_n
and I'll see my knight again tee hee~!
woah! I hope tomorrow's another great day!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
nothing much,,,
Mood:
<-- Neutral
Yoh!
Today is Sunday... and the start of another week ^^
This week will be the foundation week of our university... yay! O(^-^)o
ahaha! Yeah I'm not going to school... I have plenty of things to do
I'll only visit the school on tuesday... coz we will be getting our stipend lol XD
hmm... Oh yeah, I've been practicing photoshop :D
I really did learn something new
And I've been experimenting... ahahah! XD
My model is my pet puppy, Chimpay
ahahah! I did tell you that I'll post some of her pics right?
Well, here's the output of what I made:
teeheehee~! Kawaii desu!!! XD
<-- NeutralYoh!
Today is Sunday... and the start of another week ^^
This week will be the foundation week of our university... yay! O(^-^)o
ahaha! Yeah I'm not going to school... I have plenty of things to do
I'll only visit the school on tuesday... coz we will be getting our stipend lol XD
hmm... Oh yeah, I've been practicing photoshop :D
I really did learn something new
And I've been experimenting... ahahah! XD
My model is my pet puppy, Chimpay
ahahah! I did tell you that I'll post some of her pics right?
Well, here's the output of what I made:
teeheehee~! Kawaii desu!!! XD
saturday... just an ordinary saturday
Mood:
<-- Neutral orz
Hi there! *waves
ee... I haven't posted anything again yesterday... aheheh gome neh ^^
I've been playing pinball on gaia and it's so time consuming! O_O
ahehhe... my time is up yesterday so I decided not to write something here...
but now I'm going to write what happened yesterday ^^
hmm... It's just an ordinary friday...
Our subject multimedia is about photoshop
and I'm kinda pro(?) to that so I don't have any problems n_n
and my classmates are asking me things...
how to do that and how to do this
hahah! It's a good thing if you have an advantage to some people :D
And if you have knowledge that they don't have lol XD
It's so fun that time! We were laughing coz we were editing each others pics XD
ahahah! and after school... woah! my knight walked me home... half way home :D
aww... that's so sweet of him n_n
and I was really nervous that time... and I'm shy to talk
But still we've been telling things to each other... like this and that... ahahah!
hmm... today I've been sleeping all day O_O
and we've been texting each other, my knight and me
ahahah! He's watching 2012 right now n_n
and I'm searching for photoshop tutz... for me to earn more knowledge eheh X3
okie so til here!
My time is almost up!
<-- Neutral orzHi there! *waves
ee... I haven't posted anything again yesterday... aheheh gome neh ^^
I've been playing pinball on gaia and it's so time consuming! O_O
ahehhe... my time is up yesterday so I decided not to write something here...
but now I'm going to write what happened yesterday ^^
hmm... It's just an ordinary friday...
Our subject multimedia is about photoshop
and I'm kinda pro(?) to that so I don't have any problems n_n
and my classmates are asking me things...
how to do that and how to do this
hahah! It's a good thing if you have an advantage to some people :D
And if you have knowledge that they don't have lol XD
It's so fun that time! We were laughing coz we were editing each others pics XD
ahahah! and after school... woah! my knight walked me home... half way home :D
aww... that's so sweet of him n_n
and I was really nervous that time... and I'm shy to talk
But still we've been telling things to each other... like this and that... ahahah!
hmm... today I've been sleeping all day O_O
and we've been texting each other, my knight and me
ahahah! He's watching 2012 right now n_n
and I'm searching for photoshop tutz... for me to earn more knowledge eheh X3
okie so til here!
My time is almost up!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
True Feelings (for yesterday and today)
Mood:
<-- Uncertain
<-- UncertainHi there ^^
Hey how are ya? aheheh X3
hmm... Yesterday, there's no internet connection so I haven't post something heheh sorry :P
hmm... What happened yesterday? It's quite complicated
You see, the other day I was sooo confused about my feelings for my knight
And I've been bad at him
I made his mood... uhm... sad?
(english grammar on the worse mood again eheh)
Becoz... I just can't decide on my feelings so I'm pushing him away from me
And I wasn't talking to him and all
Yesh I know I'm hurting myself that time
But that time I also think it's for the best
After school, he asked me to go to the library with him
but then I refuse and made excuses
After that, I went to the library after all
To photocopy some books for our report
I was hurrying coz I don't want him to see me
But when I went out the library, I was shocked to see him waiting
He was sad... And I didn't see him smile
So I have no other choice but to talk to him
And put on my fake smile
Yesh... that's what I always do...
To hide my feelings, I always put a fake smile
But then after that, I returned the books alone
Yes I was really hurt that time, and he's hurt either
I always think it's for the best
Becoz I know he is a really busy person
And I don't want to be a hindrance
But then I realized that, that's not the real reason
I've been faking my feelings
I always say lies to myself
the true reason is that, I want him to be always with me... ALWAYS
I want him to prioritize me more than anything and anyone else
But that's too much selfishness right?
I know it's a bad thing but,
that's what I really feel
And I don't want to fake my feelings anymore...
And yesterday he texted me saying he was sad
He noticed my intention
I said to myself that I will not reply to that message
But after a few self-assessment
I've been faking my feelings that it really hurts
I realize that, I am worried
I want to cheer him up
I want to understand
I want to convey my feelings
I don't want to lose such important person
And so that night then I say weird things to him
Telling him my true feelings
And we've been cherring each other becoz we will be reporting the other day
I feel so happy coz I feel like he is with me...
even though we're not together that time
And today... I was soo relieved to see him smiling again
Yesh... I really love seeing his smile
I really really like it...
Whenever he smiles, it's like I wanna smile too :)
ahaha! what a weird feeling XD
I am imagining it now... ahahah! :D
hmm... and then the reporting starts
I was the one who talked first
And thank goodness I passed the report! *phew
But the worst scenario happened
He wasn't able to pass the report
coz... coz of... he was really... I think nervous and he didn't answer the question on his report
I feel pity on him
Coz he really prepare for it...
And I saw his hard work
Yes I know he is a responsible person
And I know he can overcome it
But still I want to cheer him up that time
But I really lack the things to say
I don't know how to comfort someone
He always comfort me
I am always inspired with the things he say
I thought it was my turn that time
He was on his worst mood
But I... I can't... come to him
I want to but my lack of self confidence had became a barrier
I was too shy... too shy to come to him
ugh! I hate myself
I can't do things right!
I always worsen the mood of the important people around me
I tried to talked to him... many times
But I always fail
I can't get the words that I want to say
I really really really want to cheer him up... really!
He was always by my side
I want to be by his side too
I want to be, the closest person to him
But I can't do it!!
I hate it!
but after that, After our last subject for the day, I gained my confidence
but after that, After our last subject for the day, I gained my confidence
I hold on to his shirt and grab him and take him to somewhere (at the back of our room)
And I apologized for what happened
I told him half my feelings... coz I was really shy!
And he said that he's fine
I was relieved
I just don't want him to get mad at me
And then after that, I just realized what I did
uwah! I feel so ashamed
Grabbing him on his shirt all of a sudden
and telling him things without looking at his eyes
I feel like a total weirdo
It's like I was a yankee O_O
It's a really wierd scene... It's not like a true apologizing scene after all
(it looks more like I was threatening him otl)
ee... I feel so strange!!!
But Marianne said that it's more like a scene from an anime
ahahah! that made me laugh lol
uwah... do you think... He got mad?
But I saw him laughing! ee... X3
yesh it's more like a comedy rather than a romance scene orz -_-...
Sigh... waaahhh!!! now I can't show my face to him
I'll blush and I think my nose will bleed O_O
ehehe... does he think I'm weird???
ee... But after what happened today... and after a few chats with Marianne
ee... But after what happened today... and after a few chats with Marianne
(about feelings and such)
I realized that... I'm starting to like him... more and more...
It's turning to an unusual feeling
like... more that LIKE...
I don't know...
w-what should I do???
ee... I don't know if I should let this feeling go... or let it stay
I'm still confused on what to do
But now I really know what I feel
I hope I'll not get hurt again...
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
A change of heart
Mood:
<-- Depressed
<-- DepressedHey blog...
I just realize something...
I'm being too immature
I can't keep my words, and I'm a sore loser
I'm sooo confused right now
It's becoz of my feelings for my knight
I've been thinking a lot... I can't focus on my studies becoz of this stupid feeling
I just cried a while ago... without anyone noticing
Did I already told you that I don't want others to see my weakness?
And yes, my weakness is this feeling
I'm sensitive... and I easily cry even if the reason is low
I cried coz... I think I've been taken for granted
I feel like, my knight is taking me for granted
I don't want to think about it but, I just can't get that out of my mind
He is a very busy person and I know that
I want to understand that but I can't
I think the problem is within me
I feel so lonely... I thought he was the person who will understand me even if I don't say a thing
But, I'm being too childish... I always think about myself
Yes I am selfish... I want somebody to understand that
I am spoiled... I want someone to spoil me more
But it's all wrong... I've been thinking too much about myself
I keep on saying that "I'll mature" and all...
Bah! I want to change so badly! :(
But I think in order to change... the only way for me to change
is to do things right... even though I know it's going to hurt in the start
I've been thinking about so many things
And now I finally made my decision
It will vary according to the situations that will happen
and the things that I'll be hearing
I'll made up my mind... and I need a week in order to decide
I know it's going to be hard, but I wish I won't regret anything in the end
at the end of this week, I'll have my final decision
And I'll say it whatever happens...
So, wish me luck!
Monday, November 16, 2009
A boring Monday
Mood:
<-- BoredDo you ever feel that, you've been expecting someone to come to your house all of a sudden?
Do you ever feel that, you've been waiting for someone to surprise you with a visit?
and do you ever feel sooo bored that you've been expecting things but, it will never happen?
That's what I feel today...
Hmm... an odd feeling I guess but, I really thought someone would come today...
surprise me with a surprise visit...
ee... yesh... I've been expecting a lot...
even though there's no reason I guess
I feel sooo totally lonely today!!! :(
I want to talk to someone...
Hmm... you know, I'm missing someone
Who? you know who!
I've been writing about him here for a while...
Yesh... My knight... I've been missing him -_-...
I don't know why but, that's what I feel
And I want to see him now... I've been expecting that he'll come even without a reason but...
my expectations are all imaginations... -_-...
*sigh... I really thought that anime scenes can come to life
Like, destiny, coincidences and such things
But... waahhh!! I'm being too immature!
And last night I've been thinking of too many things
Becoz of that, I realized something
that I should be who I am starting tomorrow
And I should learn things for my own... uhm... for my success... i think (huh?!)
wah! I feel so wierd today!
I just want to write what I want to write! >:(
hmm... and I realized that, someone is taking me for granted
yesh... my knight is taking me for granted
that's what I think!
I want to ask him, Why does he like me? (if he ever does)
We've known each other ever since high school
And he really doesn't notice me up until now
So, why now... why does he like me now?!
What's his reason for liking me?
ugh... I'm confused...
This feeling sucks... I can't tell anyone but I wanna tell someone
I'm sick of solving problems on my own
I'm sick of being not true to myself
I'm sick of being manipulated all the time
I hate changing... but I really want to change!
I wanna change now
For the good I guess
ee... I feel sooo bored I'm writing all this junk silly stuffs
ok so enough with the weird things orz.....
I know I've been thinking too much coz I'm bored otl
BTW, I've been studying hard last night
reading notes etc
and this afternoon I prepare my own lunch
ee... yesh... I cook my own food
I wanna learn things like cooking and laundry
coz I think I'm becoming too spoiled and dependent
and I want to throw away my pride
So I'm gaining my confidence and I want to show my true self
I want to become mature
I don't want to be stucked-up anymore
I know, if I become true to myself, I will lost some things
like friends and such
but I know some people will remain
my family and true friends
*sigh... so now, I will change
for the better of course
I want to show them the true me
And I want to throw away the things I hate
So, this is what I can write when I'm bored huh?
Sorry for the randomness
coz I'm really expecting someone to visit me home now
even without a reason
but... uwah... he didn't came so I feel down
ahahah!
so til here... bye now! n_n
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Happy Birthday Kanata! OMG I forgot! O_o
woah! omg omg omg omg omgee... I forgot! It's November 15 today! O_O
It's Kanata-kun's birthday!!! O_o
waaahhh!!! Why??? This is the 1st time this happened (for 4 years i think)!
ee... oh I still haven't introduced Kanata to you yet -_-...
Kanata Hongo is an actor in Japan...
He's the same age as me
And ever since high school, specifically, 3rd year high school, he became my inspiration...
and my crush
up to now of course
coz he's an awesome actor!
And very cool and cute one too! ^^
ee... I really look up on him coz even though he's the same age as me... he became so popular
He is a very hardworking person
And he's very confident
I saw some of his movies... and he really fascinates me! :D
He's one of a heck awesome artist and a really great person!
I envy him a lot... and respects him of course
ee... He is the person I really like before my knight... >_<
And every year I always celebrate his birthday! (even though he doesn't know that)
I also made a chocolate for him last last valentines n_n
But now... ee... I forgot his birthday! O_o
I feel so ashamed and down... huhuhu T^T
ee... I have so many things in mind...
But I never thought I'll forget this day... this very special day orz
ahuhuh... It just came into my mind when one of my friends in fs wrote on her shoutout about it
ee... I did have a plan for his birthday
Now my plans are ruined! TT^TT
hmm... I keep asking myself why did I forgot his birthday?
And I realized some questions...
Is it becoz I have an amnesia?
Is it becoz I have a flu?
Am I becoming too old I easily forget things?
or is it becoz of my knight?
ee... uwah... I think it's becoz of the 4th question... uhuhu -_-...
ee... oh well, now that this happened, let's just let it as it is... -_-...
I can't do anything for it now.... :P
anyways, today is also Gilbert's birthday
Yup! He has the same brithday as Kanata
Gilbert is one of my friends in school
and he is a very great and awesome artist n_n
He draws a lot... and his artworks inspires me :D
ee... I was planning on giving him something for his birthday
but alas! I did say I forgot it's November 15 today right? D:
It's really annoying! I forgot this date!
I already draw something as a gift but I haven't scanned it
ee... I really thought that would be a great present for him
coz he gave me a sketch of me as a gift for my birthday last year
uhuhu... I wanna return the favor but now I can't :(
I'll just have to wait for next year to resume my plans...
ugh! I really feel ashamed for what happened now!
I wanna return the time so that I can continue my plans for their birthday! aaahhh!!! O_o
I did greet them online... and texted Gilbert... but I think those are not enough...
sigh... but oukei so I think I should really stop ranting around..
I need to calm down... -_-..
ee... oukei so til here!
Byebye -_-....................................................
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