A change of heart

Mood:

<-- Depressed

Hey blog...

I just realize something...

I'm being too immature

I can't keep my words, and I'm a sore loser

I'm sooo confused right now

It's becoz of my feelings for my knight

I've been thinking a lot... I can't focus on my studies becoz of this stupid feeling

I just cried a while ago... without anyone noticing

Did I already told you that I don't want others to see my weakness?

And yes, my weakness is this feeling

I'm sensitive... and I easily cry even if the reason is low

I cried coz... I think I've been taken for granted

I feel like, my knight is taking me for granted

I don't want to think about it but, I just can't get that out of my mind

He is a very busy person and I know that

I want to understand that but I can't

I think the problem is within me

I feel so lonely... I thought he was the person who will understand me even if I don't say a thing

But, I'm being too childish... I always think about myself

Yes I am selfish... I want somebody to understand that

I am spoiled... I want someone to spoil me more

But it's all wrong... I've been thinking too much about myself

I keep on saying that "I'll mature" and all...

Bah! I want to change so badly! :(

But I think in order to change... the only way for me to change

is to do things right... even though I know it's going to hurt in the start

I've been thinking about so many things

And now I finally made my decision

It will vary according to the situations that will happen

and the things that I'll be hearing

I'll made up my mind... and I need a week in order to decide

I know it's going to be hard, but I wish I won't regret anything in the end

at the end of this week, I'll have my final decision

And I'll say it whatever happens...

So, wish me luck!